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Description
Minor mature content.
Beginning: selina99999.deviantart.com/gal…
Writer's notes: The story is spoken by a fusion spirit of the Queen of black cats. the spirit represents the joined consciousness of previous queens in a way. Demons cursed to fight repeating for queen's mistakes. Queen is a cursed fusion spirit with a reborn cycle: once one host dies, the spirit chooses another and curses it. Read previous chapters for more info.
Next chapter is just a view on my artistic writing style: Examples
Beginning: selina99999.deviantart.com/gal…
Writer's notes: The story is spoken by a fusion spirit of the Queen of black cats. the spirit represents the joined consciousness of previous queens in a way. Demons cursed to fight repeating for queen's mistakes. Queen is a cursed fusion spirit with a reborn cycle: once one host dies, the spirit chooses another and curses it. Read previous chapters for more info.
Next chapter is just a view on my artistic writing style: Examples
Mature
© 2014 - 2024 LadyAlluvia
Comments10
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Good morning. Here to do my critique for Readthine-Readmine.
I caught on to quite a bit more in this chapter, having read the previous one. Quite a bit more information came out about the differing species and now I have a better understanding of the Curse.
I was a bit surprised when technology was mentioned. I haven't read from the beginning but on the basis of chapters 2 and this one it seemed like a totally magic-based world.
As with the above person, I feel it would be better if the story drew us in much more strongly. For example the revelation of Zoan's past: This would be a much more powerful scene if it were presented as a confrontation, in which the story was learned through actual dialogue between them and the person relating it.
You have a pretty good story laid out, but it needs a more dialogue-driven structure.
I caught on to quite a bit more in this chapter, having read the previous one. Quite a bit more information came out about the differing species and now I have a better understanding of the Curse.
I was a bit surprised when technology was mentioned. I haven't read from the beginning but on the basis of chapters 2 and this one it seemed like a totally magic-based world.
As with the above person, I feel it would be better if the story drew us in much more strongly. For example the revelation of Zoan's past: This would be a much more powerful scene if it were presented as a confrontation, in which the story was learned through actual dialogue between them and the person relating it.
You have a pretty good story laid out, but it needs a more dialogue-driven structure.